


Deluge

by Danxk



Series: Tales of the Rain [2]
Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, it's raining okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 10:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12604224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danxk/pseuds/Danxk
Summary: Donghan raised his head to look up at the sky. It was a black canvass painted with stars, which had revealed themselves behind the clouds. They weren't twinkling like they were that one night when Taedong said he loved Donghan and asked him to be his boyfriend in front of the fountain from the English Village.





	Deluge

 

 

> **_Can You Remember?_ **
> 
>   
>  _I think you loved me,_  
>  _the night we drank_  
>  _Turkish coffees,_  
>  _our fingers woven_  
>  _tighter than two_  
>  _hands held,_  
>  _by lovers dangling_  
>  _on a precipice_  
>  _of a cliff._
> 
>   
>  _Can you remember_  
>  _the moment_  
>  _our fingers let go?_
> 
>   
>  _The stars rushing_  
>  _backward,_  
>  _no hope left_  
>  _below._
> 
> _ㅡ_ Michael Faudet (Bitter Sweet Love)

 

* * *

 

 

Donghan was walking back home when it started to rain. He lost track of time as he and his high school friends were having fun teasing him about his debut and that he should treat them to a fancy restaurant soon. As Donghan excused himself for they were a bit busyㅡanother round of teasingㅡemerging from the front door of his friend's (the host's) house, the sun was no longer visible behind a thick layer of gray clouds threatening to drop heavy water.

 

He immediately took pace and put on a mask for the streets. His strides were unusually long and fast. He needed to get home or he'll get a long ceremony of scolding from Taehyun later.

 

But he has only taken fifty steps when it started raining. He wishes someone with umbrella would pass by so he could at least ask them to share it with him. He was desperate enough to risk his identity.

 

He looked around and his heart shrank, sadly, the street was fully deserted. Seemed like everyone was informed that there would heavy raining today and only Donghan who never cared about the weather report, didn't know.

His shirt was wet on all places, it started to cling on his skin, making him feel colder. He kept on walking, apologizing on Taehyun in his mind and regretting that he left his phone on their dorm.

 

Five minutes later, Donghan was shivering as he felt everything he's wearing is now dripping wet. He hugged himself vainly, as if that could keep him any warmer.

 

Then his foot stepped on some uneven ground, the slick water running helped on making Donghan slip. Surprised, Donghan lost his footing and he felt himself stumbling unbalanced sideways. He closed his eyes as we waits for himself to hit the ground, Donghan stilled himself.

 

Seconds later, he still couldn't feel the hard rough ground against his skin. Not a bone seemed to be brokenㅡbut a strange feeling of something strong and warm caught him by the waist, rounded on his back, struck him harder that he could have with the ground.

 

He immediately opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to get rid of those droplets on his lashes that make his sight blurry.

 

When his eyes met the gaze of the man who owns the arm that had caught him mid-fall, he gasped rather loudly.

His heart reacted faster than his mind. It had started racing before Donghan could even process a word. The only word that ran through his mind at that moment, was the his name, as if a powerful incantation, he called him, "Taedong..."

 

He arrived like a knight saving him, but not with armour, nor a sword, but with a cozy-looking coat and an umbrella. They seemed to be in sync because they've both dyed their hair black again.

 

Taedong's lips twitched into a small smile as he held Donghan tighter. He helped the younger to his feet but didn't let go even as Donghan has gained his posture.

 

Donghan opened his mouth to say something, like a _'thank you'_ , instead of words; a surprised gasp escaped his mouth as Taedong held him tight against his body. Donghan didn't know how to react, but he felt comfort with Taedong's warmth, arms enveloping him.

 

" _Hyung_ , you'll get your shirt wet..." Donghan whispered trying to crack the heavy atmosphere that's starting to dawn to the two of them.

 

But Taedong only hugged him tighter, squeezing the air out of Donghan, as if the younger would disappear suddenly if he'd let go even for a second.

 

Taedong let his head fall onto the younger's shoulder, "Donghan, God, I've missed you so much..." he whispered. Donghan shuddered, but now it's not because of the cold.

 

Donghan bit his lip as he curled his fist on the elder’s coat. Tears threatening to flow out and mix with the rain streaks on his cheeks. The elder’s presence made him feel lightheaded, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what words to say.

 

All those day, after the airing of Produce 101, after they both eliminated from the program, the hopes of debuting with JBJ, all the fan projects for them that he had looked up on the internetㅡanything, anything that might interest himㅡDonghan tried with all his might to fill his mind with these, but Taedong. He didn't know it would be so hard that he'd decided to give up.

 

His days, even without Taedong's physical presence, were filled by the older. The memory of feeling Taedong's reassuring presence, he feels so secured and light-hearted with him around.

 

Even as now. Taedong might have took by surprise but there he is, not a moment of hesitation and he had curled himself around Donghan.

 

Involuntarily, even with Taedong keeping him closeㅡso closeㅡfor body heat, Donghan shuddered as a particular wind blew, rustling the leaves on the trees and ruffling both their hairs.

 

Taedong, alarmed, looked up at Donghan. He handed Donghan the umbrella, dizzy and cold as he might be, Donghan managed a blush out of his cheeks as he realized what Taedong was doing. The older slipped his coat off and put it on Donghan's shoulder.

Donghan instinctively nuzzled on the collar, sniffing what's left of Taedong's scent on the coat, wanting to cave himself on the coat, it was warm.

"Hey," Taedong patted his cheeks lightly to keep him to his senses, "Let's go, I've brought a car."

 

Then he was holding his hand tightly, as he drags him across the rest of the street. Donghan only had a moment of realization that they've arrived on a parking before he was gently shove inside a black car, Taedong closing the door for him. He had put the umbrella on the car compartment and tossed his coat, which Donghan used, to the back seats of the car. The older rounded the car before finally setting himself on the driver's seat. He proceeded to reach out for a bag on the passenger seat behind, and then rummaged through it.

 

Donghan hasn't really uttered a single word since they've met moments ago other than his name and he rocked his brain, so he can at least say anything but all he could think off was, Taedong, Taedong, Taedong...

 

"Here," Taedong had produced a grey shirt from the backpack and immediately handed it to Donghan, "Change into that, you're going to catch a cold." He said worriedly, as he turned his head to watch the rain outside, giving Donghan privacy.

 

What's the use? Donghan thought, when he'd seen everything of me before. But he went to slip his wet shirt off and slipped on, what seems to be, Taedong's shirt. The shirt hang a bit loosely on his figure, again the smell of Taedong was all over him. The car strangely smelled like him, instead of the usual car fresheners, the shirt sets off the strongest Taedong-smell. Donghan fought back a smile, feeling a bit silly for wearing his ex-boyfriend’s shirt.

 

Their relationship only lasted for a few weeks, started when they've practiced together for the position evaluation on Produce 101. Donghan saw how sexy and dangerous Taedong could look like as he danced to Shape Of You, like the real man he is. But he set himself bait for Taedong. Then they both fell for the trap he had set. Frustrations grew within the trainees, it didn't even start as something platonic, Donghan and Taedong weren't a bit surprised to have found themselves indulging to a passionate make out. Taking it to Donghan's bed, they almost tainted Justin for forgetting to lock the door, fortunately Taehyun was there to stop the kid before he opens his eyes on a scene that would scar him for life.

"Done," Donghan said quietly as he sought for an abandoned plastic bag on the car floor and slid his wet shirt inside. He felt a bit better but not truly comfortable because his pants and shoes, and probably also his underwear, were wet.

 

Taedong studied him, "You still look good wearing my shirt." Donghan had to fight back another blush at his commentary.

 

Taedong started to drive their way out of the parking space, "Where do you stay? OUI? JBJ dorm?" He asked, not looking at Donghan.

 

"JBJ," he replied shortly.

 

The ride wasn't much of anything. They didn't talk along the way but Donghan clearly itched to hold Taedong's hand. The older wasn't feeling much different as he taps his fingers on his lap, longing to reach out and feel Donghan's fingers, intertwined with his. The rain has started to ebb, until there were only few evidences left on the streets that could justify that it actually rained that day. Donghan looked through the window, watching things pass by the car, his hands tightly clutching at the shirt so they wouldn't stray and end on intertwining themselves with Taedong's. They were silent for the rest of the ride.

 

Their fifteen minutes was over.

 

Taedong carefully parked his car in front of JBJ's dorm. Donghan didn't make a move to open his doorㅡlike he always does whenever he's with Taedongㅡand like a tradition, Taedong went out and pulled the umbrella again, he rounded the car and went to open Donghan's door.

 

Donghan went out and almost plastered himself against Taedong that it looked like they were hugging; Donghan awkwardly peeled himself off the older. "S-Sorry." He muttered but Taedong wasn't listening.

 

He put a hand on Donghan's back and motioned him to walk towards their front door, Donghan went obediently.

 

As they've reached their front steps, Donghan immediately raised a hand to press the doorbell to alert the others that he's back and forgot his keysㅡbut Taedong caught his wrist, he stopped midway.

 

He looked at Taedong in confusion, and he wants to take his heart out because it just beats to fast every time their eyes meet and he thinks it's stupid.

 

Taedong looked at him fondly, like he always did since they've proclaimed their mutual feelings even without words.

 

His hand slid smoothly against Donghan's wrist, until their hands have intertwined, "Donghan," he called, Donghan felt his knees wobble a little, his voice was deep but sweet, "I-I want to congratulate you for debuting."

 

Donghan felt tears stinging the back of his eyes; he could feel the hurt and let-down behind Taedong's words. He instinctively reached out a hand to cup the elder’s cheek; Taedong lovingly leaned and lightly rubbed his cheek against Donghan's palm.

 

For the second time, he couldn't look at Taedong, he couldn't tell him that it's okay that his time might not has come yet and when it does he'll shine brighter. He couldn't say a word, because honestly, in the depth of his heart and from the deepest corner of his mind he knew everything would have been better if Taedong was there. If Taedong had been given the chance to debut with them. Donghan couldn't have felt thrice of the pressure if he had Taedong by his side.

 

"Taedong _hyung_ ," he looked down at his shoes, dropping his hand, "I-I don't even know if I'm doing everything right. I've wanted to debut, but... there's something missing _hyung_ , please. I don't know. I should feel the happiest when they've confirmed I'm debuting," he lifted his head to look at the older, as he struggled for words “But when I heard that you weren't debuting with us, I felt a big empty hole boring me here," the he placed a hand to his chest.

 

Then without holding anything back, they Taedong pulled him for a tight, warming hug. Donghan felt water flowing on his cheek, he thought it might be raining again but this wetness was warm. Then an almost silent sob escaped Taedong, followed by a hiccup from Donghan.

 

A tight squeezed in his chest left him gasping for air. He clutched tightly on Taedong's shirt, as if no one, nothing could separate them.

 

"Donghan, you're doing alright. You were so good when I went to watch your showcase." Donghan felt his heart shrink, thinking of putting himself on Taedong's shoes, watching a performance that he should have been a part of.

 

"Y-You," Donghan hiccupped, "You should've been there with us. You..." then he cried harder.

 

Donghan raised his head to look up at the sky. It was a black canvass painted with stars, which had revealed themselves behind the clouds. They weren't sparkling like they were when Taedong said he loved Donghan and asked him to be his boyfriend in front of the fountain from the English Village.

 

"Donghan?"

 

They were so engrossed in their moment that they didn't notice the front door opening. Taehyun and Kenta stood there, watching the two hug like they'd never get a chance to do it again.

 

Slowly, they untangled themselves from each other.

 

He studies the older for a moment, his soft eyes that could turn into wild ones, if he'd press the right button. The familiar nose that traces along his neck in the dark whenever they're left alone. The lips that leaves the most tingling sensations in Donghan's body, making him feel so electrified and so so much hungry for more of the Taedong's taste. 

 

"Donghan, get inside now." Taehyun said softly, he knows how sensitive the situation was.

 

Donghan wiped the tears off his eyes with the back of his hands, Taedong did the same. But it was apparent that no one wants to let go of the other's hand.

 

Hesitantly, Donghan untwined his hand, he didn't dare look up at Taedong's face or he'd hold on longer that he should be. And besides, he knew, he knew from Taedong's laboured breathing alone that he was keeping himself hard to fight off the urge to take Donghan away.

 

Donghan entered just as Taehyun went out to talk to Taedong, Kenta stayed beside him behind the door and patted him comfortingly on the back. He heard a rumble of car engine. . . It faded away. Taehyun entered the house next.

 

Without a word, head hung low, Donghan went to his room and sat on the windowsill,  he studied the stars with torpid feelings and afflicted heart.

 

The stars looked like they were blinking tears away as they weep. Seemingly, mourning with Donghan. They were dull, they looked as demised as they were when Taedong and Donghan decided to end their relationship. Everything was too much, together they could've figured out everything but they weren't ready and they looked like animals who just wanted to prey and mate.

 

Donghan didn't like that, he wanted to grow better, learn more of himself until he's whole again to indulge himself in a relationship. A bit platonic with a bit of Erosㅡthat's how he wants it. He wants love not desire or infatuation.

 

Donghan sighed; it may or may not have helped the fact that their company both OUI and FAVE forbid them from dating anyone.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i feel a bit depressed
> 
> repeat after me. . .
> 
> "The world needs more taedonghan"
> 
>  
> 
> [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/micheotji_)  
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/danxk_)


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